Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Diva or Duped ?

   As a young adult in the 80's I lived for music. I always had the radio on or a record playing (yes vinyl). Music was a very important part of my everyday life. I wanted to look like George Michael and dress as cool and confident as Boy George. Music in the 80's was ... happy (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun), hip (Rock Lobster) and freeing (I'm Coming Out). It made me feel good about myself. But it could also be dark (Ballad Of Lucy Jordan) and dramatic (How Can I Help You Say Good-bye). 

   The 80's was full of Divas too. Donna, Whitney, Tina, and of course Cher. We welcomed them into our bedrooms on a nightly basis. Singing about the boy that will never love us or the boy that loved another. They become our best friends, our sisters and confidants. They opened up their hearts to us and we loved them for it. We had our first and sometimes only female relationship with them. We loved and trusted them to keep all of our secrets. 

   Then we grew up and realized they were people just like us. They got older, had problems, divorces and opinions. And sometimes their opinions didn't match ours. And our world was shattered. How could they turn on us? How could they have lied to us all those years? 

   Years ago I learned one of my "Divas" did just that. Her whole public persona was a lie. She was not one of "our" biggest supporters. She did not believe that I was entitled to the same rights as her. My world crumbled. Dramatic? Yes, but I felt as if I had lost my best friend. 

   I stopped listening to her music, did not watch any show she was a guest on. I cut her from my life. Again, dramatic? Yes. Childish? Maybe. But I was hurt. Beyond repair. That's how strong my "relationship" was with her. 

   She had made me believe that I was special. To this day I think about her. I miss our time together. I miss our "talks". I miss her voice. 

I miss my friend. 

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