Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Change is good?

I am a creature of habit. I haven't always been. I guess it comes with age. As a young adult I would do and go anywhere at the drop of a hat. It's Tuesday? 4pm? Lets go to Vegas. Saturday? 2am? I'm hungry. Now a days I have so many things to do before I am spontaneous. Vegas? Now? What about the dogs? I have a meeting tomorrow at 9am. Oh and gas ... what is it up to now? $4.19 a gallon?  Lets see ... that's 360 miles x 4.19 a gallon. Plus food on the way ... oh and we have to stop and get a date shake at the Mad Greek. That will put us at the hotel at 1 but check-in is at 3p ... screw it I'm staying home ! 

That's how my mind works now. Very annoying. 

When you are through changing, you are through.  ~Bruce Barton  

OK, that makes sense. Change is good, internally, mentally, theoretically, thoughtfully and so on. But what about when your surroundings change? Your way of life. What if you are forced to make a change? Your whole way of life. How do you deal with that? A therapist? Yes. But that's only going to get you so far. And its hard work.

You really have to work hard to change. You have to dig down deep inside your gut and deal with feelings you never knew you had or knew you did but buried them. It sucks. 

We are all creatures of habit. Its in our make up, our DNA. We get comfortable. We go along not making waves. Living our lives for other people because we don't want to be thought of as uncaring or selfish. But if we aren't happy we can't live a happy life. Duh. Simple right? But how many of us live that way? 

Change can hurt. It can be painful. It can feel like our heart has been ripped out and trampled on by a herd of horses. But when things do change we have to believe that it's for the good. We have to go along with it on blind faith. 

"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."
 - Author Unknown

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Instant gratification

Therapy (mental)
Acting class
Art class
This is a partial list of some of the things I have tried in the last few years. 

I've been to a therapist about a dozen times. I needed to be fixed and when I didn't get repaired soon enough my visits fizzled out. 

I took two acting classes. When I didn't become Meryl Streep my enthuseasion ran out. 

I attended 6 classes of a painting class. I even finished a great piece ... "Ape in the Wild". But when it didn't end up at the next Christie's auction in New York City, that to went by the way side too. 

The list goes on, Red Cross Life Guard, Dog training, teen suicide operator for a 24 hour hot line. But that last one wasn't my fault. They called me back after the interview and said thanks but no thanks. But thats a whole different blog entry.

As I told my partner the other day ... "I try things and move on. When I'm on my death bed I wont wonder ... what if?"

Or is that the lazy way out? Who said "Anything worth while is worth working for"?
But for how long? How long must I try to be a great painter before somebody says ... maybe you should try cross-stitch? Is greatness just not obtainable for most of us. Or should we just say F it and try all until we feel fulfilled and be happy at that.

Maybe we need to pick and choose what to see through to the end. So I what if I gave up on art class before the gavel fell. Its not a matter of life and death. 

But some things in life do deserve our all. Somethings need our full attention. Our family. Our friends. Our relationships. Our health, both mental and physical. 

I have a few things on my "Done" list that I need to re-visit.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Do not be daunted ...

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
The Talmud

Monday, May 2, 2011

Optimist or Sucker?

‎"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" 
 - Martin Luther King, Jr.
‎"In the face of a man's death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred"
- A statement released from the Vatican after the killing of Bin Laden

   I posted these quotes on my Face Book page after learning of the "celebrations" taking place after the killing of Bin Laden. The fact that I was not in the streets dancing and singing with glee did not mean that I was saddened by his death. It did not mean that I didn't feel for the family's and friends of the 9/11 victims. I choose to deal with it in another way. I am not a religious man. But I do believe in God. I believe that He is with in us all. I believe He is a very personal being that each of us has to manifest within ourselves to live our lives in a peaceful loving way. 

   I am tired of all the hate in the world. Either because of religious reasons, economic reasons, sexual orientation,etc. 
"People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?...It’s just not right. It’s not right. It’s not, it’s not going to change anything. We’ll, we’ll get our justice....They won the battle, but they haven't won the war....Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to work it out." 
- Rodney King
   I know Mr. King has been made fun of for his quote. But really ... its not far from the truth. We are all here for such a short time. All the time, effort and money that we put in to hate could be spent so much better for the good of humanity. 

   Yes, their has been evil people all through history. And they will continue to be here long after I'm gone. I understand the "need" to rid the world of evil. I understand the theory behind the need for fighting for that you believe in. But at times like these we need to look with in ourselves for peace. 

   If I am being completely honest I have to admit that yes, I am glad we have one less evil being in the world. Who knows how many innocents have been saved with his demise? I guess I am saddened by the fact that the world we live in even has such evil. 

What do they call someone who believes good?

Noun 1. optimist - a person disposed to take a favorable view of things

Or a sucker?

   I also want to make it known that as a son of a military man I have the up most respect for all the men and women in our military. I can not express the feelings I have for them as they put themselves in danger everyday. Either here at home or in countries around the world. They are the reason I have the freedom to write what I feel and think without fear of reprisal.