Downward dog - Part 2

I didn't fart.

I guess anxiety runs in my family. I know for a fact my dad lives on it. Either he's stressed out about my nephew Preston, or plutzing about me and ... wait, I don't think he thinks about me in that way anymore. GRAND KIDS ! And I know my sister has the same problem. We compare notes on the phone all the time about who is stressed out more ... and about the littlest of things.

Anyway ... as I was saying. After I got over the angst of not needing to pass gas I started to relax. I laid on my mat and just kind of let my mind wonder. It was a process at first. The thought of my stove kept creeping in.

Five minutes passed ... then ten. Was I suppose to do something? Start chanting from the book of yoga? Ring a bell? I always get nervous when my eyes are closed and its quite. So I opened one eye to look around. All the women in the class were just laying there too. Cool ! Nap time.

Finally the instructor started class. Sunday started Earth Week and as we lay there she spoke of being one with mother nature. Having roots with the earth. I felt so 60's ! As she spoke I could feel my body relax and I felt so comfortable. Very hard for me to do in a room full of strangers. Then the thoughts started ... " I am SO going to do yoga everyday!" "I'm going to become a yoga INSTRUCTOR!" "I am going to start my own YOGA STUDIO!"

After the L-Tryptophan took effect again I could relax. The rest of the class was spent at the zoo. Downward dog, the cobra and my fav, the Flamingo. I don't think that's the yoga term for it but its all I could picture ... 20 flamingo's standing on one leg looking to their leader for instruction (thank goodness I was next to a wall).

After class Carolann and I introduced ourselves to Yoda (or is it yogie? Or in this case a female, yogette?). I said I was a yoga virgin and she said she never would have guessed. Who knew Yoda had a sense of humor.

P.S. I will be going back ... as soon as I buy a mat, a yoga pillow, cute shorts, a few tanks to show off my tattoo ...

And the thoughts never end.

Downward dog or my first Yoga class

I wandered into the unknown today, Yoga class. My friend Carolann caught me in a weak moment ... at a dinner party Friday night after a few glasses of wine.

"Sure I'll go ! Sounds like fun ! How hard could it me ?!?!?" forgetting my phobia about hard work. So Saturday morning I get a text ... "Class is at 930a Sunday, should I come pick you up?" Apparently she had less wine then I thought and remembered the whole conversation. Sure I thought, come by. I'll be in bed but come by anyway. I was sure I could talk her into a latte and shopping.

925a Sunday ... knock knock. I answered the door (with my latte). I knew the smell of fresh ground coffee beans would get her. So such luck. "Do you have a mat?" "Got your water?" "Are your feet clean?" Really? A mat? Water? Clean feet? Are we going camping with a podiatrist?

We got to the class, Yoga Blend, a few minutes early. Enough time for me to have an anxiety attack. The guy at the front desk was very sweet. I told him I was a yoga virgin "Welcome! We're so glad to have you! Do you need a mat? Water?" No I thought, I'm totally prepared to camp with the foot guy. As we walked down the hall to the class room I saw the shoes lined up.

Light bulb!

I took off my shoes and socks eager to show off my clean feet. The room was a good size with low lighting and hardwood floors. I could hear music softly playing, something you might hear in a monks temple (or at least what I imagined monks would play as my time spent with the Dalai Lama was so long ago).We placed our mats on the floor, mine behind Carolann. As I sat on the mat I had second thoughts about the real estate I had staked out and the looseness of my shorts. Oh well, she was an ex-actress, I'm sure my junk wouldn't be the first gay junk she had seen.

As I lay on my mat a thousand things rushed through my mind (and I'm quite sure one of the purposes of yoga is to CLEAR the mind). "Did I lock the front door" "Did I turn off the stove?" " "Can Carolann see my junk?" "What was that spot on the ceiling?" "Do dogs really see in black and white?"

As the teacher entered the room I felt a kind of calmness come over me. I really did. "Wow, this might be ok" Only to be followed by "I have to fart". Great.

More tomorrow ...

Saturday ramble ...

So its Saturday and raining. And dark(ish). I should be reading for my exam on Monday but I heard a voice ... "Daaaaaaaavid ... I'm lonely". It was coming from my MAC. I had left him in the living room as I studied in the dining room. Yes I call my MAC a him, so what? Anyway ... I had an attack of ADHD earlier and left him unattended. Goodness knows what he got up to in his unsupervised time. I know I tend to get in trouble when left alone. I got my MAC two years ago and the love affair is still going strong. I was a PC man since the beginning of time and it was a hate / hate affair. MAC was MADE for people like me ! Click and drag ... what could be easier? But its presented a problem, I can't leave him alone. Day and night I can be found typing away at his keys. GOOGLE search - Elvis. BING search - what is the longest bridge in the world? Just the touch of his silky smooth keys get me hot. And boy is he fast ! And I can open many windows at a time. It really comes in handy for looking up on "Thesaurus". Rain, Rein or Reign?

I promise to ...

be more supportive of all you do, no matter how small the task, no matter how trivial it is ... if its important to you it's important to me.

put the dishes away

be more responsible with money.

watch less TV and go out.

believe you when you say "I love you"

kiss you goodnight before we sleep.

believe you when you say its work i.e. Oscar's , drinks with friends, Abby, ex-wife's house.

believe you when you say "you matter to me" , "you mean the world to me".

play less Elvis, Eartha, Jane Oliver on Sunday's or when I'm depressed.

be less depressed.

to get less hysterical when Rhett says "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn" and when Laura doesn't turn to see Yuri.

dream in color.

be less jaded about love.

be less self-conscious.

believe in myself.

be a partner in our relationship.

carry half the weight, half the responsibility, half the burden.

adore love like Lady GaGa.

enjoy your FaceBook updates.

believe you really know all 1,097 of your FaceBook friends.

be my own person apart from you but still connected to you.

believe "he's a friend".

believe you're really tired.

not bitch about my weight while eating ice cream.

In short I promise to be more like the man you fell in love with while still being true to myself.

Guess who got a new camera ... ???

Me ! I've had camera's before but this one is a Canon something or other. What I love about it most is it allows me to take really close up photo's. I took these in my garden over the weekend. I spent an entire hour looking for a bee ... when you are not looking for them they are everywhere. Of course the boys had to get in on the act ...

Poor Sweet Bruce ... so unaware that in the next few weeks he'll be chased, teased, coxed, prodded, bribed, hounded, nipped, dipped and clipped in order for me to get that perfect picture.

I miss you my dear blog

I've decided having a blog is like seeing an old movie you haven't seen in ages "Ahhh ... I forgot how much I love you".

Lets see ... where was I ... oh yes, acting. OK next. Lets just say I need help in other departments before I try that again. I was terrified to say the least. But I did it ... for 3 weeks. That's got to be some kind of record for me. And I have to say I didn't suck. I got some kind of rush from it. Like from the effects of a drugs (not that I would know). When I wasn't peeing my pants I felt ... free. I know it sounds corny but it's true. But for now I'll keep the acting thing in by back pocket.

My next adventure is single life. Maybe. My partner and I have not been seeing eye to eye lately. We ( I ) am trying to work it out. Fingers crossed. We'll see.

Blah blah blah ...

So here I am at work ( shhhhhh) blogging. Wrong? Yes. Necessary? Yes. Thanks to "Confessions of a Pioneer Woman" I am trying a new thing. To blog everyday ... or at least every other day, every other week ??? Who knows ... maybe I too will have enough readers for The Gap to advertise in my blog.