Sunday, April 18, 2010

Downward dog or my first Yoga class

I wandered into the unknown today, Yoga class. My friend Carolann caught me in a weak moment ... at a dinner party Friday night after a few glasses of wine.
"Sure I'll go ! Sounds like fun ! How hard could it me ?!?!?" forgetting my phobia about hard work. So Saturday morning I get a text ... "Class is at 930a Sunday, should I come pick you up?" Apparently she had less wine then I thought and remembered the whole conversation. Sure I thought, come by. I'll be in bed but come by anyway. I was sure I could talk her into a latte and shopping.

925a Sunday ... knock knock. I answered the door (with my latte). I knew the smell of fresh ground coffee beans would get her. So such luck. "Do you have a mat?" "Got your water?" "Are your feet clean?" Really? A mat? Water? Clean feet? Are we going camping with a podiatrist?

We got to the class, Yoga Blend, a few minutes early. Enough time for me to have an anxiety attack. The guy at the front desk was very sweet. I told him I was a yoga virgin "Welcome! We're so glad to have you! Do you need a mat? Water?" No I thought, I'm totally prepared to camp with the foot guy. As we walked down the hall to the class room I saw the shoes lined up.
Light bulb!

I took off my shoes and socks eager to show off my clean feet. The room was a good size with low lighting and hardwood floors. I could hear music softly playing, something you might hear in a monks temple (or at least what I imagined monks would play as my time spent with the Dalai Lama was so long ago).We placed our mats on the floor, mine behind Carolann. As I sat on the mat I had second thoughts about the real estate I had staked out and the looseness of my shorts. Oh well, she was an ex-actress, I'm sure my junk wouldn't be the first gay junk she had seen.

As I lay on my mat a thousand things rushed through my mind (and I'm quite sure one of the purposes of yoga is to CLEAR the mind). "Did I lock the front door" "Did I turn off the stove?" " "Can Carolann see my junk?" "What was that spot on the ceiling?" "Do dogs really see in black and white?"

As the teacher entered the room I felt a kind of calmness come over me. I really did. "Wow, this might be ok" Only to be followed by "I have to fart". Great.

More tomorrow ...


  1. Oh My Gawd!! YOu are so funny and honest! When I was single and had more 'time' to try all these various exercise 'types' I found Yoga and spinning to be the worst (hardest) .. only Yoga was hard but Spinning was death!! wondering if you are an addict about it yet..

  2. All kidding aside ... I loved it and I will go back.


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