Friday, April 23, 2010

Downward dog - Part 2

I didn't fart.

I guess anxiety runs in my family. I know for a fact my dad lives on it. Either he's stressed out about my nephew Preston, or plutzing about me and ... wait, I don't think he thinks about me in that way anymore. GRAND KIDS ! And I know my sister has the same problem. We compare notes on the phone all the time about who is stressed out more ... and about the littlest of things.

Anyway ... as I was saying. After I got over the angst of not needing to pass gas I started to relax. I laid on my mat and just kind of let my mind wonder. It was a process at first. The thought of my stove kept creeping in.

Five minutes passed ... then ten. Was I suppose to do something? Start chanting from the book of yoga? Ring a bell? I always get nervous when my eyes are closed and its quite. So I opened one eye to look around. All the women in the class were just laying there too. Cool ! Nap time.

Finally the instructor started class. Sunday started Earth Week and as we lay there she spoke of being one with mother nature. Having roots with the earth. I felt so 60's ! As she spoke I could feel my body relax and I felt so comfortable. Very hard for me to do in a room full of strangers. Then the thoughts started ... " I am SO going to do yoga everyday!" "I'm going to become a yoga INSTRUCTOR!" "I am going to start my own YOGA STUDIO!"

After the L-Tryptophan took effect again I could relax. The rest of the class was spent at the zoo. Downward dog, the cobra and my fav, the Flamingo. I don't think that's the yoga term for it but its all I could picture ... 20 flamingo's standing on one leg looking to their leader for instruction (thank goodness I was next to a wall).

After class Carolann and I introduced ourselves to Yoda (or is it yogie? Or in this case a female, yogette?). I said I was a yoga virgin and she said she never would have guessed. Who knew Yoda had a sense of humor.

P.S. I will be going back ... as soon as I buy a mat, a yoga pillow, cute shorts, a few tanks to show off my tattoo ...

And the thoughts never end.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Downward dog or my first Yoga class

I wandered into the unknown today, Yoga class. My friend Carolann caught me in a weak moment ... at a dinner party Friday night after a few glasses of wine.
"Sure I'll go ! Sounds like fun ! How hard could it me ?!?!?" forgetting my phobia about hard work. So Saturday morning I get a text ... "Class is at 930a Sunday, should I come pick you up?" Apparently she had less wine then I thought and remembered the whole conversation. Sure I thought, come by. I'll be in bed but come by anyway. I was sure I could talk her into a latte and shopping.

925a Sunday ... knock knock. I answered the door (with my latte). I knew the smell of fresh ground coffee beans would get her. So such luck. "Do you have a mat?" "Got your water?" "Are your feet clean?" Really? A mat? Water? Clean feet? Are we going camping with a podiatrist?

We got to the class, Yoga Blend, a few minutes early. Enough time for me to have an anxiety attack. The guy at the front desk was very sweet. I told him I was a yoga virgin "Welcome! We're so glad to have you! Do you need a mat? Water?" No I thought, I'm totally prepared to camp with the foot guy. As we walked down the hall to the class room I saw the shoes lined up.
Light bulb!

I took off my shoes and socks eager to show off my clean feet. The room was a good size with low lighting and hardwood floors. I could hear music softly playing, something you might hear in a monks temple (or at least what I imagined monks would play as my time spent with the Dalai Lama was so long ago).We placed our mats on the floor, mine behind Carolann. As I sat on the mat I had second thoughts about the real estate I had staked out and the looseness of my shorts. Oh well, she was an ex-actress, I'm sure my junk wouldn't be the first gay junk she had seen.

As I lay on my mat a thousand things rushed through my mind (and I'm quite sure one of the purposes of yoga is to CLEAR the mind). "Did I lock the front door" "Did I turn off the stove?" " "Can Carolann see my junk?" "What was that spot on the ceiling?" "Do dogs really see in black and white?"

As the teacher entered the room I felt a kind of calmness come over me. I really did. "Wow, this might be ok" Only to be followed by "I have to fart". Great.

More tomorrow ...




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